Is there anything more challenging in life than relationships? Maintaining long-lasting, rewarding relationships is as difficult as it is important – many would argue that having great relationships is the key to happiness. After all, what good is money and success if you have no one to share it with?
Has anyone in history ever truly mastered relationships? Even the most happily married couple struggles through difficult times. It’s almost enough to make one wonder if it’s really all worth it.
Say what you want about relationships, but the challenge of relationships is something we call share in common, whether we’re talking about romantic relationships or otherwise.
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Most of us have some kind of idea in our minds about how a "good" or "correct" Relationship is supposed to be. We can cause ourselves needless distress by comparing our own relationships with such an idea of what a Complicated Relationship "should be like" and then concluding that our own is defective by comparison. Psychologists may imply something of that sort when they formulate criteria for a "healthy relationship" which few real couples ever meet. There are many kinds of relationships,and a given kind may fit a given person at one stage of development but not at another. Driven by our personal history, we choose partners who help us meet our present needs, fulfill our expectations, and if we're lucky, work throughour issues and grow in the directions in which we need to grow. For a couple, recognizing this can open doors to a broader spectrum of ways of being with ourselves and each other.
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